Modern Pirates Pillows

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

The Dubloon Stops Here

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Are we there yet?'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Treasure Island Book.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'