Modern Pirates Pillows

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'Are we there yet?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Treasure Island Book.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'