Modern-day Pirate Gifts

"Finding coins under your couch cushions doesn't count as finding buried treasure."

"According to the map the cryptocurrency treasure must be buried here!"

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

Weird things I do because of the internet

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Music downloads

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"Who can we call?"

"Shall I let them breathe."

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

'It's a treasure map.'

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

"How many letters can you read?"

"Can you sign this copy I downloaded off the internet?"

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'You're allergic to feathers.'

Finance piracy

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

"After careful deliberation, I've decided I can no longer represent you as your lawyer in this case."

'Interesting business plan.'

Punishment for Software Piracy.

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

'Todd here syas our plank is to narrow and may lead to lawsuits.'

Hooks R Us.

The Nautical Step

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'Here be our new flag, me hearties! A truly Jolly Roger, from now on, we're all about bein' upbeat an' optimistical!!'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Giant Foam Finger'.

Pirate trying to choose what to wear