Modern-day Merry Man T-Shirts

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

Little Piano

Working at a brewery.

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

How's your midlife crisis going, Al? That turned out to be a false alarm, doctor. Today after a heavy lunch I realized it's just a midriff crisis.

Please visit www.frtn_cookie.com.

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'The Easter Bunny and Hist Eight Tiny Reinhares.'

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

Nutcracker

"Don't worry dear. I won't spoil her anymore than you can afford."

It's our editorial opinion that you DESERVE a very Merry Christmas.

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

'With all I've learned about psychology recently, establishing who's naughty and who's nice is not as simple as it used to be.'

"Yeah of course I told them I was bringing you, why?"

Reindeer Tryouts Today Only

'Eat in moderation. Drink in moderation. Be merry all you want.'

Happy Birthday Moses.

Robin Hood wished his men were a bit less merry.

Cream Pie Joust

'In the off season, I rent them out as lawn ornaments.'

'I don't need to go on a diet. All I need is a bigger pair of pants.'

'I think we are just about to be found out.'

"I prefer sawn-off arrows. They double up as knitting needles for the wife.2

"Where have I heard that laugh?"

"I'd look forward to the company Christmas Party a lot more if I wasn't self-employed."

"Thanks for calling in, Joan. First off, can we agree that naughty/nice i purely a socially determined distinction?"

"There it is! The last leaf - that's all we need to kick off the Christmas shopping season!"