Modern Culture Enthusiast Gifts

'Get with it,Francis-get a skateboard!'

'I'm not sure that a more ethnically aware Pope is the right way to go.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Omara Portuondo

World Tour.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

Elfie Stick

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Introducing Piza Island.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Then what happened?"

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

The Cremaster Cycle

Zora Neale Hurston

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.