Modern Culture Lover Gifts

Elfie Stick

Great Chinese Dynasties

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Omara Portuondo

World Tour.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

Dawing your Cellphone

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Selfie Stick

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Introducing Piza Island.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Then what happened?"

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Pouring all emotion into his art, Pablo had none left for his face.

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'Some of these traditions don't half linger on.'