Modern Couple Navigator T-Shirts

'Mother! Would you stop referring to Charles as a latchkey husband!'

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

No Immediate Danger

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Bashful in Nashville

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?