Modern Couple Navigator T-Shirts

'Mother! Would you stop referring to Charles as a latchkey husband!'

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

'Great Therapy!'

No Immediate Danger

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Bashful in Nashville

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."