Modern Convenience Champions Gifts

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Now you can send it."

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Pop Top Ice FIshing

Drive-in fast food, drive-in bank and drive-in car park.

Hands-free laptop.

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Santa Elevator

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"You mean, with that yakerpoop app, you can have a service stop by and puck up your bag of crap?"

"Gracie, people don't understand how hard things used to be. Sure, we can be green and throw out the washing machines...but then we'd have to load up the dirty clothes, drive the car to the river, and wash everything with rocks!"

Vendo Tree.

Church Drive-Thru.

Uptight Fishing...'we put the bait on for you'

"I want to travel somewhere REMOTE, somewhere unspoiled and untrammeled by hoards of rampaging tourists...but with good wi-fi!"

Kangaroo Pocket

'Is there any way you can deliver everything to my e-mail account for now on?'

'..or do you think we should go with this one?'

Condom Delivery

'I'm tired of using every part of the stupid buffalo -- I wish they'd put a Wal-Mart in around here!'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

Drive Thru Police Station

"I just need a few minutes with the auto-sensor to regain my illusion of control."

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

Sitting around the warm glow of the TV.

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

When Anteaters Get Lazy