Modern Banking Gifts

Economics/Crypto Currency

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

Spot the difference.

"What's a debenture?"

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

E.U. Banking Union.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

European currency on the edge.

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

A Day In The Kitchen

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

Money Bar.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"I don't like the look of this."