Mobster Story Fan T-Shirts

"That's the problem with this business. It's always 'who have you whacked for me lately?'"

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"I'm a changed man, Lou - I'm wearing a wire AND a fitbit."

"I'll have the roasted chicken. Make it look like an accident."

A holster of heavies

"Why do they always do that with the concrete? The feet are the best part."

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

Ostritch Gangsters.

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

Cartoon Gangsters - I'm gonna have to get Lumpy to rub you out!

"It's all right. I was granted immunity."

"How'd you get this number?"

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

Mafia's car

'What's my husband like? -- Just imagine Tony Soprano without any money.'

Mob Boss Runs Errands

"Remember - make it look like an accident."

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

Mobster tries to recruit Santa as a hitman.

"I'm Vinnie. I hear you got a little problem you want taken care of?"

Disorganized Crime

"Lose the tie, Vinnie—we ain't going legit after all."

"Wait - use a knife. It's greener."

Mobster R&D

"Must be one of those new Russian mobsters."

'Looks like a classic case of too much concrete.'

"But first we're going to watch your phone die."