Mobile Phone Bill Avoider Pillows

These text messages from the phone company are killing me!

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

Is there any history of not paying medical bills in your family? M.D.

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

'Hmmmmm. I wonder if there were any roaming charges to call the moon.'

"I only wish this was the final notice."

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'

'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'

(Dart! ….. I pressed the button for instructions in Spanish!)

"No, I'm not interested in a free ski weekend. Please take me off your call list."

"How many times do I have to tell, you, don't call me at work!"

"No need to rush down - it's only the gas bill."

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

'Who is this? Could you please stop cold calling me?'

'Oh, Hi, Fred!...I was just thinking about you'