Mobile Innovator T-Shirts

Listen to me. I expect better from you this year. No more dropped calls, lost voicemails or random extra charges on my bill! Battery dead. No more short battery life! It's come to this. I'm talking to you! Zzzz.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Evolution.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"You've all been working very hard lately, and you deserve some time off. I'm giving you all a two-day membership to time-off.com."

Cloud Computing.

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

My First Bitcoin.

'Have your people facebook my people.'

The power of the brain

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

'Unfortunately, our entirely Twitter and Facebook based business model was a little ahead of its time!'

'I decided to close the stand and sell the lemonade on eBay.'

Two words, boss: Virtual reality. We glue virtual reality goggles to our coffee mugs. Come again? When patrons sip their Himalayan mochas, they'll think they're dangling from a cliff in the Himalayan mountains. People will come from Miles around! People will throw up for miles around. We'll give patrons mops that double as virtual reality hockey sticks. This conversation is virtually over.

Mark Zuckerberg