Mnemotechnics Enthusiast T-Shirts

The train pulled away. He'd made it! Clive was free at last to pursue his true interest: Mnemotechnics.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

I love embroidery

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

Computer neck.

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

'I think that's enough brain defragging for today.'

Pizza Delivery Delays

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

"You've got a few screws loose."

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'Now read that back to me.'

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

Office Ergonomics.

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

Jake played with a dead man's hand

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

'Give me a beer, luv. . . Yeah, a mop.'

"How may I hurt you?"

"Do you play basketball?"

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

The side effect of the standing desk craze.

'That's curious, Mr Van Der Pummen...up to question 2084 you seem entirely normal, but then after 2085 you suddenly go to pieces!'