Misunderstanding Enjoyer T-Shirts

"I said to order me 300 CONCUBINES!"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

"Nothing is funny. We're just having a good laugh."

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

"I wasn't dead yet."

Why do we have pistols? I thought we were back-to-back to see who is taller!

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

You spend way too much time and energy stewing over things, Al

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

Genie in a trash can.

'When I asked for a bottle of house red...'

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

'Big Tony said I'll be sleeping with the fishes. I think he's gonna take me to an aquarium!'

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

Gloria called

'A simple bottle would have sufficed for your specimen, Mr Thomas.'

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'