Misunderstanding Enthusiast T-Shirts

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'A simple bottle would have sufficed for your specimen, Mr Thomas.'

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

Fred thought he was following orders when he began the war on terriers.

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

'But you said to bring a heavy sweater.'

'You must have won the lottery.I just heard daddy say your number was up.'

"Fish? I thought you said that we are going ice fishing!"

"Hang on, I only asked you if you had any protection."

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

Do you have any fans? Shelagh in soft furnishings thinks I'm wonderful.

'Mr. Doan says he has a bachelor's degree, but I happen to know he's married.'

Global Skate Boards...senior discount: 'High school SENIORS, Dude!'

'Five years ago we offered Professor Lang unlimited resources to create the perfect deterrent. Today, I'm happy to say...' 'Uh-Oh!'

'Hello,Biggo Tackle Supply? About tha dozen flys I ordered.....'

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel, but it was for my shotgun.'

'I didn't mean it like that!'

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'