Mistletoe Enthusiasts Gifts

Festive Flirt.

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

Moustached gentleman

30 Days Has Movember

Monument in the park for Squirrel Feeder

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

Merry Kissmas

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"Don't even think about it."

Leopards do change their spots

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

'Multiple personality.'

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

'You got here just in time - These shoes are killing you.'

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

Since time immemorial, investors wonder how money in the companies in which they invest is being spent.

"Wow, I've never met an astronomer before."

Handlebar Moustache Man

Rex is suddenly regretting having offered to help the old lady cross the road...

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

"Don't preted to hibernate when I'm talking to you."