Mistake Master Pillows

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

Face painting.

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

Untidy bedroom

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

DIY expert.

"No, it's twist and THEN turn."

"Study Henderson's career closely. He's made all the mistakes so you don't have to."

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

'Who messed up my workbench?!'

"Can I help it if my pen leaks!"

"One day, many years from now, we'll look back at this and laugh."

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'