Mistake Manager Pillows

'Are you going to hate yourself because of this in the morning?' 'I hate myself already!'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Dogs life

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

Two children play with a pedal bin

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'The part I love is when they come home and say 'WHO did this?. . .'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

Teacher's pet dog

"Come on boy. Tell Daddy where you buried the leg of lamb."

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

Spilled Milk