Mistake Laugher Gifts

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

Police Lineup Escape

Minority Report Is Real

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

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'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"I don't care how it's pronounced, I want it."

"I take it the defense rests."

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'ARRGH! Run for it lady!' 'A swarm of Bs!!' A guy running away from a swarm of the actual letter B

The Gingerbread Man's cousin, the hash cookie man.

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"I did follow my bliss. It wandered around in circles and then ended up at an Arby's in Hoboken."

"We have testimony that you walk like a duck and you quack like a duck. Tell the court - are you a duck?"

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

Q. U. E.. F. The only time I know when they've been apart is when he was in "Iraq."

"You're the only one I know stilling calling people 'Uber' this and 'Uber' that."

'We're a little overcrowded in here, boys- pick a number between one and one hundred.'

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?