Misplaced Mitten Enthusiasts Gifts

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

Bureau of Missing Persons

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

Directions.

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

Early Football

'What sort of mix is she?'

-'The mighty warrior Vlaric surveyed the open plain...his muscled torso ready for battle...' -'And at his side his majestic hound Druce sat patiently waiting...'

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

"Mittens found it! It was stuck in the sofa."

'Frankly, I can't really see the future, but I will sniff your hand.'

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

"According to the pedigree, his family has been mutts for twelve generations."

"Can you believe she said that I 'talk too much'? I can go hours without saying anything. You've witnessed it. What about sleeping? I don't talk in my sleep... do I? Oh, well, I just bought a box of vintage oven mitts on eBay last night. I couldn't sleep..."

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

'If I knew exactly where I lost his insulin - it would not be lost - would it!?!'

"Amazing - the event horizon of a black hole!"

Directory: You are here

"She's half poodle, half pain in the rear."

'And as your tour guide, I'd like to point out that we're completely lost.'

"A ship!"

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate' A guest is refused entry to the Softy-Wype toilet tissue masked ball.

'That can't be me. I know exactly where I am.'

'I told you we should have gone with a different design!'

"So darling, to find North, you don't need a compass: you need to find a magnetic termite mound..."

Dispelling the myth that a dog can find his way home from hundreds of miles away.

'A pair of contact lenses?'