Mismatched Mixer T-Shirts

'I'm making milk shakes for everyone!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Wedding Chefs

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'..and one for the pot.'

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

"Bloody Cyclops!"

Shake well before using.

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

"Ah-sod it! I think I'll get a takeaway instead..."

'Painter'

'I'm a court jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'We need more change around here, so I put your coffee in a tea cup and my tea in a coffee mug.'

Nasdaq, Meshach and Abednego

Magic Potion Micro-Brewers

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

The Origin of Laundry Day

Witching Hour

Forget the potions. This Halloween I'm working on a vaccine.

Recently discovered music compositions: Mozart's quartet for harpsichord, viola, banjo and ghetto blaster.

Lincoln Lane

Ice pack for the heart.

"I didn't realize it was dress-up Friday already."

Happy Halloween

"Each one wanted me to wear his Father's Day present first."

"Vinnie, we gotta talk about what 'bookmaking' means."

'When you guys invited me over for a jam session, I just assumed...'

"We ran out of tomato juice, so I used ketchup in your Bloody Mary."

'I like to do a lot of business on the crazy golf course...'

'You're giving a mating call yet holding a rifle - I'm getting some pretty mixed signals here, buddy!'

"I call her 'mincing lamb' because the only thing she ever cooks is spaghetti bolognaise..."