Mismatched Mingler T-Shirts

'I like to do a lot of business on the crazy golf course...'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

The Icebreaker

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

"Ok, everybody set for that Zoom call?"

Ear Bud Hijacking

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"

'You're in Gallery Two... right, see you in the bar.'

'How do you do? I'm your wife's husband by a previous marriage.'

So good to meet you, Facebook to Facebook.

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

The Forgotten Men's Club

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Conversation Pits

"We have to stop Meetings like this."

'So tell me about yourself. Where do you blog?'

For every two new Facebook friends I add, one old one unfriends me. Gee, that's too bad, Al. Actually, it's an improvement.

'Cut me off if I start ordering Marstinis.'

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

"Word is he's from Earth, but too embarrassed to admit it."

"Now make her fall in love with the roommate who's going to quit his job to become a DJ."

"These are your friends the Erskines, sir. Madam kisses both of them. You kiss her and you shake his hand. Then you wink and say, 'Hey, how about those Yankees?' "