Misinterpretation Master T-Shirts

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

"Can I help you find or lose something?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Love at First Sight

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

Communication Breakdowns

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

"My audio is okay, but my video is kind of sore"

'Covid airborne'.

Naive to its unconventional approach, Wyatt is victimized by the rare and elusive Mumble Bee.

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'What? You said court-appropriate attire!'

'You misunderstood. Our ad says that we can help you get out of debt.'

'What do you mean, 'No warranty??' The user manual does not say that I can't send a Cappuccino by email!'