Misconceptions Pillows

'I'm not sure if I'm a vegan or not but I do only eat animals that are herbivores.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Myths and legends...

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"Do you wanna hear something really weird?"

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Sighting of the elusive Bigpaw

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

'It's King Midas... Quick, take the signs down!'

"Oh that's just a myth. It wasn't one extra straw that did this. It was a Steinway."

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

"Oh my God! Tinyfoot does exist!"