Mischievous Soul Prints

A planet like ours - "...you know I'm just playing with you before I kill you don't you?"

''Don't feed the birds, Martha,' I said. 'Do what the signs say, Martha,' I said. But Nooooo...'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Meowlzebub

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

Monkey Business

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

Misery lit...

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

Law Books

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

Killing Santa

Children playing in a library

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

Pandora's cat.

'Cut it out!'

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

Watch for Children.

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

HisssssHerssss....

'Must we invite the Hendersons? Their children never stop swarming ...'

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'