Mischievous Planner Prints

'You and your shortcuts.'

'This isn't the first time you've been here---- is it ?'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

Bad Office Planning

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

"It's a game where we roll the dice to see which destination wedding we should spend our savings on this year."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

Children playing in a library

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

Killing Santa

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

School Trip To The Beach

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

'Cut it out!'

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

"Lunch Thursday at one? Looks good to me."

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

"Want to have a few pies after work?"