Misbehaving Dog Enthusiast Pillows

"Bad dog."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"I'll take this one."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

Dog Bar with Toilets.

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

Dog History

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

'Interesting. . . 'While dogs respond to dog whistles, wolverines respond only to cash and traveler's checks.''

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

'I signed him up in obedience school, but all he did was play hooky.'

"Now, the last one was not a "mating call", but a "mates call". I agree that they are very similar, but it's important not to mix them up..."

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"You're compromising the entire operation!"