Misanthropic Mixer Pillows

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"An everything Martini, please."

City Marathon.

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"Bloody Cyclops!"

Musical Mestizo.

Santa's close call with the Cow Jumping over the Moon.

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

"Brian and I were destined to be a couple. We both hate everyone else."

I HATE STUFF

"It's 8 a.m. somewhere."

"Um...David, a word if we may."

Let the good times roll.

Witching Hour

"You know how to make a painkiller?"

A Meeting of Audio Buffs.

'Misanthropology.'

In Memory of Old Bob Who Loved This Park But Hated People

"People extra suck"

Social Networking .

'I see you've got Billy scrubbing the decks again.'

Ice pack for the heart.

'. . . You're starting an anti-social network. . .'

Cement mixer with mixer settings

"My husband finally figured out a way to keep our relatives from visiting."

Happy Halloween

"I'm a big fan of your work."

"We ran out of tomato juice, so I used ketchup in your Bloody Mary."

"Idiots who kill people for a stupid religion. Greedy morons who destroy the environment, crazy war mongers...you can keep your creation. It scares me to death, man!"

'When he hired me he agreed I wouldn't have to make coffee, but I should have known there was a catch.'

Eternal Rest Cemetery and Golf Course.