Mirage Mystic Gifts

"Is it just the merciless sun playing havoc with a man's senses?"

"Don't panic but I'm not a mirage."

"Seriously? You can't see the oasis? Are you telling me I'm painting a mirage?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"Free why-fi.”

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

'I think you have to come to terms with the fact that I'm just an hallucination, probably caused by severe dehydration.'

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

DOUR and TROUBADOUR

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"These desert mirages are virtually like being at the beach."

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

Saxophone summoning.

'I'm bored...'

"Excuse me, pal, but is this the road less traveled?"

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'You won't believe this darling. But, I almost didn't ask you out on this date, because I thought you might be a mirage.'

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

"I have to know how it's done."

Skiers

'The secret of life, son, is finding a better hiding place than I did.'

Proposed site for new multi storey mirage.

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

'We DO have a dress code up here, you know!'

"Never mind."