Miracle Musers Pillows

Jesus the comedian.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Fishing with God

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Moses Separates the Cream. . .

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

'Well I think it's worth a try!'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

'Sweet dreams buddy!'

Insomnia.

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

Jesus makes water cooler water into wine.

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

Bishop reads menu which features only loaves, fishes, water and wine.

"Yeah, he changed water into wine but it was nothing you'd want to lay down."

'We're fresh out of miracles. Want to see a card trick?'

"Hell's bells! You got a patent on that?"

"Thank you, sir."

"How dare you!"

Sign - Hoddle I'l keep saints up. "So he works miracles too then."

'Our company will solve the world's energy problems. Every day's worth of oil will burn for eight days.'

Jerusalem's Got Talent

Jesus, as a child, heals the blind snowman....

Hang on

Psychic near sign: Madam Zoe. Palms read futures told weather forcasts given.

Jesus Rollerblading on water