Miracle Engineer Gifts

'What if we don't change at all ... and something magical just happens?'

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

"Managing a complex project in these fractious times requires imagination, the first thing I’d like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

Childbirth and Covid 19

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

A Tax Auditor Prescribes Treatment For A Doctor's Condition

Caveman about stone wheel: 'I call it 'zero'.'

"Look, I took my own kidney out."

"Parting the clutter in your room isn't the same as cleaning it, Moses."

With his wife ready to give birth, and the Egyptians on his heels, Moses performs the first "Sea"-section.

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

Aqueduct

'Wow... Here comes 'Holy' Andy Jones, king of headers!'

"Nice igloo, but why isn't it melting?!"

Thank you present

Motorcycle Faith Healer

The dunger

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

'Will you be able to shrink their heads with just broad band connection?'

"I could use some holy water in my garden, Father, It will be a miracle if anything blooms."

"Yes. That was great. . . but the real miracle is how my mom can feed us for over a week on Thanksgiving leftovers!"

Hospital. Emergency. Closed. I'm bleeding and the E.R. is closed, What should I do? Just go home? Suture self!

"Jesus could probably work this problem. He was good at working miracles!"

'The Vicar's kindly offered to clean the pool.'

'Another day...another blank page taunted him. 'How long can this block go on?' He wondered. 'I don't know,' said the paper.'

Happy Valentine's Day! My friend is looking for a valentine's day date. She asked me to build her ideal man. She wants him to be tall and smart so I made him with long legs and a big brain. He has great ears so he's a good listener, and an extra funny bone so he has a wonderful sense of humor. Most important, I was very careful when working on his chest. Her ideal man must have his heart in the right place. Will you be my valentine?