Medical Miracle Maker Gifts

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'My obstetrician recommended I nurture it in the interest of science.'

'You MAY feel a teeny-tiny pin-prick..'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'Well I haven't had a chance to review all your readings in depth, but if I were to be forced to make an educated guess I'd say that your were knackered!'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."