Minutes Taker Pillows

" 'No!' shouted Mr. Bixbey, slamming his fist down on the table. The floor shook, the walls trembled. Mr. Watson turned ashen. 'Y-y-you m-m-mean w-w-we . . .' The words wouldn't come out. He seemed to choke on each syllable."

"Feel free to take notes."

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Jason and the Aga notes,

"It's time to wake up!"

Clock watcher

Given seven minutes to finish, he flashed through the weekly report.

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...

Wiz Fipple and his Circadian Rhythms.

"I believe in love at first sight. It saves a lot of time."

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

Quick, what's the five-second rule in dog years?

Cuckoo bird in office.

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

Planned service changes

Biological alarm clock!

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

What we especially like about these theoretical types is that they don't tie up thousands of dollars worth of equipment.

Advantages of being bald # 2 - Less time drying.

Office ready to leave at 5 o'clock.

'Let's face it - home shopping catalogues are marketed at old people...' - '...but with a bit of lateral thinking they could easily target busy young professionals.' - 'These 'bathing wipes', for example, mean I can now wash my lower half on the way to wo

'I take my blood pressure medicine at bedtime and before looking at the market reports.'

Checking watch

"Frank doesn't like to waste a minute of his vacation."

'I'm down to one cup of coffee a day.'

"Phyllis needs to stop taking our staff meeting minutes."

Running out of time

"This could have just been an email."

'If I don't love you, Susan, why'd I call you during anytime minutes instead of night and weekend minutes?'

'Tell you what, I'll tell you what I'm writing if you tell me what you're writing.'

"Where are your trees that already have the christmasy doo-dads on them?"