Minute Counter Pillows

Clock watcher

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

Heart Health Levels

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

"Nurse, I'll be right back. My activity tracker says I've got to take a walk."

...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... MIDNIGHT!

Checking watch

'How many zeroes in a billion again?'

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

'Charles, I want you to meet Joel. You have lots in common. He also thinks he knows how to time the market.'

"Phyllis needs to stop taking our staff meeting minutes."

"When I said you should take a walk every day I didn't just need to see me!"

'If I don't love you, Susan, why'd I call you during anytime minutes instead of night and weekend minutes?'

The fleeting moment

'Looking forward to your retirement, Campbell?'

Aging Researchers

" 'No!' shouted Mr. Bixbey, slamming his fist down on the table. The floor shook, the walls trembled. Mr. Watson turned ashen. 'Y-y-you m-m-mean w-w-we . . .' The words wouldn't come out. He seemed to choke on each syllable."

"A meeting is something that reduces hours to minutes."

Time getting away

Eighty, eighty five, ninety, ninety five and five makes a pound.

"The real torture is not being able to get my steps in."

How’d my dang teeth get in there? Cuz you been drinkin’ out of the milk carton again.