Minimedical Maven Gifts

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

In the Guru District

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"National security adviser"

"And this is our media room."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

Lego Haircut

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Reporter #6: television.

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

The end is near

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'