Mini Medical Maven Pillows

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Lego Haircut

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

The end is near

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

Pre-Old Blues

The Canary in the Coal Mine

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Vaccine hurdles

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'Where does it hurt?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'