Medication Maven Pillows

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

'Okay, so I don't know how to spell it, but just tell your pharmacist it's the drug with the really long name starting with 'r'!'

'Would you like this placebo in name brand or generic?'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

'I think you'll find the side effects of this little drug rather amusing.'

'We've been asked to look out for any possible side effects with this new drug he's on.'

"I might suggest Ritalin."

'I don't see where it says best if taken with meals eaten out.'

Pharmaceutical sales rep Jules Halm loved to sport his 'jacket of 1,000 pills.'

'I warned you when you started on this medication that it was experimental.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"The nurse said to list the drugs I'm taking... I wrote the legal in the left column... illegal on the right."

"It's a harmless placebo unless you count the side effects."

"A side effect of my medication is memory loss..."

"We'll have to verify your doctor's signature, which looks like a generic signature."

"Judy and Chuck were both gelcaps, so their marriage dissolved faster."

"On the plus side, by the time you read all the side effects, you'll be done with the medication."

"You want the generic placebo or the brand name?"

"Take one of these every 4 hours for the side effects from your prescription."

School of Pharmacy and Over-the-Counter-Annex

'We've come up with some wonderful antibiotics - but we can't figure out what they're for.'

'I'm going to prescribe a new diabetic medication. It's a bit costly. I'll start you off with fifty dollars a week.'

Antacideater

PHARMACY, 'Here you are, sir -- don't operate heavy machinery or watch television.'

'Once a year. . .forever.'

RX baseball hat

"And no drag racing until you know how this medication is going to affect you."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"That's a big fat lie!"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?