Mini Helper Gifts

'It's nice of you to let me help wash the dishes Dad!'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

A baby playing on a grand piano

One!

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'You must all promise never to divulge what you are about to see.'

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

Child doing the washing up

Lemonade without borders.

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'How are you doing on your side?'

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

'It's an '07 model. I JUST finished putting it together.'

"I googled my symptoms and downloaded the treatment to my tablet. All you have to do is follow this..."

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

Boy finds tricycle propped up on building bricks after wheels stolen.

"It's a bicycle. My dad lost our Christmas club money in Atlantic City so I won't get the rest of it until my birthday."

"I heard you were out of flower, Mommy."

'I am never going to fill out a prom dress.'

'He's pre-med.'

"I'm strictly yes or no. Alexa and Siri deal with facts. Value judgements we leave to your mother."

The Baby Mechanic

"I must be getting good, 'cause my dad told to go play for the neighbors!"

"I'm exhausted. Get your own damn tea."

B flat

"I'm bringing litigation against everyone who is responsible for my overly demanding socialization."

'Your teacher called and said the school concert tickets you sold me for $20 were free.'

Future Site of the Procrastination Help Centre - Opening Fall of 1996