Mini Dramatist Pillows

"You pretend you're Mummy pretending she's got a headache and I'll pretend I'm Daddy pretending he's being sympathetic."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Tabletop Theatre

A man taking a bow

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

'It's more festive-looking!'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

"Simon, I'm not really interested in your juvenilia."

'I was six before I realized there were things you could do with Play Dough aside from eating it.'

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

'So there we were, driving to day care, when our van was attacked by a giant squid.'

Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

Harold Pinterest

"At last! They've begun downsizing the top level."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"Just don't draw on the walls, that never comes off!"

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

No toxic waste in my backyard!

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

"All these drawings you do that she sticks on the fridge door - what are you getting out of it?"

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'