Mindful Journeyer Gifts

"It's nobody's fault but mine, Ted. I'm the one who decided to follow my heart rather than my head, and look what it got me: happiness beyond my wildest dreams, and not a CLUE how to deal with it!"

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Clinic

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

All we have in life is this moment...

'Have you been working out?'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

"You have got to want to change."

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"Physically I'm in New York, Emotionally. . .I'm somewhere in the south of Florida."

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'This is no time to start wondering whether you turned off the oven!

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Crazy Straw. Crazy Straw after therapy

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

Just think of meditation as "mental floss."

Zen Kitten

Therapist. The first step in therapy is acknowledging your issues, or as I like to call it, "baggage claim."