Mindful Freakout Artist T-Shirts

'We provide this relaxing courtyard for employees to explore their freakouts.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

A child interrupting family prayers

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

'Damn sea monkeys.'

"I have this nagging feeling that cartoonists are everywhere, drawing everything I do."

'You're not creating another thing till you've tidied your room!'

Non Drip Paint

"Why are we here?"

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

'Apparently all my creative juices have seeped into the left side of my brain.'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

'Cut it out!'

'It might be all right for some but I'll not have anyone tinkering with my subconscious. Anyway, supposing they found I hadn't got one!'

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"Could you give me just a moment to quietly stir my coffee and pretend my world isn't about to come crashing down around me?"

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

'Gee, doc, I never thought creative therapy would be like this.'

"Close your eyes, breathe in and feel your purses and wallets begin to open...get a sense of them growing lighter with every passing moment...lighter...and lighter..."

'You used foul and offensive language when addressing your computer. Well....we've all done that.'

"Pipe Dream"

"Just because the universe is expanding doesn't give you an excuse to expand with it, Fred."

Benjamin Britten.

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

"That's my new mantra. . . 'woulda coulda shoulda'?"

Protect Yourself Psychologically Jung Fu Classes

"You say no one pays attention to you. Why do you think that... oh, wait, I need to take this."

"If think my sense of smell is returning."