Mind Ponderer T-Shirts

Philosophy Department - Are You Really Here?

'I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid!'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Needs to get a life"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Max Weber

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

I see

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"You what? Well, you darn well ought to have a guilt complex"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Caption Contest TK

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

Jealousy

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'