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Mimosa's Witnesses

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Extreme miming"

Desert Island BBQ

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Happy thoughts

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"That's our new church mascot."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"You run into a window, too?"

"Herb's from Texas."

Jack in the Box

'Malty tasking.'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

The Suite Hereafter

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"According to national law you're innocent but national law counts less than. . ."