Milk Mavericks Gifts

New Milks

Bar Code Cows.

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

Moses Separates the Cream. . .

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"How almond milk is made"

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

What if he could be 'churned' to the dark side?

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!

'I think breast milk is better... It's free, always fresh and the cat can't get to it.'

Banksters privatize the profits and socialize the losses

"Apparently night shifts undermine our health..."

'I think I may be lactose intolerant.'

You'll never get anywhere as a sculptor, Ernie, until you learn to let the chips fall where they may.

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

'That's strange. No ingredient labelling anywhere!'

Biker Hell No

'My advice? Invest in 'rRising Star' in the first race at Belmont. But what do I know? I'm just the boss' bookie.'

What's in the milk today?

'This one holds 1200 songs AND it automatically screens out all the ones your parents could stand.'

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

Dairy Products "It must be that genetically modified stuff"

N.Y. Counterfeit Press.

August Kekule's dream

'No doubt, that's the cow that gives us fat-free milk!'

Rush-hour turnstile chicken

'I've given up my vegetarian diet - it's just too darn hard to find a vegetarian.'