Milk Carton Satirist Pillows

"Got 'im, got 'im, need 'im, need 'im... "

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

When Someone Says Biden Sucks, You Are Supposed to Have a Good Answer

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

God Bless America, God Help Syria

Once Again, Another Donald Trump Twitter Classic

Looking for Impeachable Offenses in All The Wrong Places

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Secondhand smoke.'

Facelook

Blockhead

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"....Climate change is a hoax folks...believe me I know....fake news."

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

The Pope

How Moms explain.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

Capitalism

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

In Which the CEO Takes a Meeting with His Pet Senator

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings

'The stuff legends are made of'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."