Milk Carton Satirist Pillows

"Got 'im, got 'im, need 'im, need 'im... "

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Secondhand smoke.'

Blockhead

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"....Climate change is a hoax folks...believe me I know....fake news."

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

How Moms explain.

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings

'The stuff legends are made of'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

NHS Suicide Counselling