Dairy Humorist Pillows

'Did you just curdle?'

'Take my wife's....cheese.' Cowmedian

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Motorherd

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Cat job interviews.'

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

Cow writer.