Dairy Humorist Pillows

'Did you just curdle?'

'Take my wife's....cheese.' Cowmedian

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Hats and Food

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Motorherd

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

No jay walking.

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

'Cat job interviews.'