Military Strategies Gifts

"According to my latest poll, Sire, it's eleven in favor of continuing the Crusade and eight thousand in favor of returning home."

The ill fated Trojan hamster.

"Congratulations, General. The anti-missile system wasn't fooled by the decoy balloon."

As a last resort, gentlemen, I have positioned our troops in accordance with the principles of Feng Shui.

Invade Poland Simulator.

'Men, these Easter eggs are our primary targets.'

Soldier trying to catch bomb with a cushion

"You can be helped or you can be safe - you can't have both!"

Kim's Rocket

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Two Ways out of Iraq.

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Nothing like a good shot of democracy to help fight terrorist cells."

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.

Most valuable element.

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

"You don't even need to lie down on the therapy couch! Any therapy would be totally senseless, Mr. Putin!"

Ukraine Crisis

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

'And this will be our strategic plan for the coming year.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Trouble everywhere...

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

Ukraine Pinata