Military Service Gifts

'I'm a disabled vet, sir -- I lost my work ethic in the Army.'

"Dude?!. . . We are so scared of a draft. . . we won't even fill out our financial aid forms!"

"This one is for not getting upset if I'm mistaken for a doorman."

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

Transgender personnel in the military.

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

"At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we shall remember them."

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

'Not much after 25 years in the Legion,is it,Henri?'

'Keep looking,m'dear-I'm sure there's a good conduct medal in there somewhere!'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

'This one is for not complaining about being stretched too think handling domestic and foreign crises.'

Officer with many medals.

'I think he wants to enlist in the K-9 corps!'

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'While my reserve unit was guarding the Iraqi border, an illegal alien took my job.'

"I prefer people who are known."

Injured Veteran

"Are you gay?" "Big time." "Do ask, do tell"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Servicemen.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

Military Medals

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Trump

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Monuments

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'I was in the catering corps.'