Military Retirement Gifts

"This one's for not asking, and this one's for not telling."

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"An impressive resume, General, but remember - department-store security is different from national security."

'Uh, which side did you say you were on?'

'This one is for keeping all the other ones so neatly arranged.'

Stag Dance in Barracks of Army of Potomac

The Grim map of Iraq.

Thank A Veteran

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

Military Medals

Leaving Afghanistan

Veterans Day '20

Monuments

Army general with a support for his medals.

'What must an officer be before he can have a funeral with full military honours?'

'I'm thinking of retiring and spending the rest of my life 'making nice'.'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"The boys chipped in for a little parting gift."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Good game."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Lady of the Cake.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Not that net!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"