Military Family Pillows

"By George, that should do it - as long as we don[t bomb our own men again "

"You know, Daddy... We should thank a vet every day."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Licensed Therapist

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Ahhh...'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Impressing dad.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I didn't spark joy."