Military Donor Gifts

"Dinner was absolutely delicious, and thanks again for the bombers."

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

"We gave our lives in Afghanistan for some totally incompetent politicians. . ."

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"You know, Daddy... We should thank a vet every day."

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

Thanks And Giving.

Peter Cruddas

"No, there is not an annual cap on tithes."

"Don't be so mean...give him some money!"

'Have you seen my amplifier.'

'I want to leave my body to the medical school, and my mind to the psychiatric hospital.'

Give To Tsunami's Victims.

Support the Ex-Troops

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

Don't think of it as tithing. Think of it as a cover charge.

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

"Our final honorary doctorate goes to John P. Lind, who kicked in three million clams for a chem lab."

Please give U.S. Fire & Flooding Victims

$102 War Chest